Thanks to Issa Rae and Zooey Dechanel it is now cool to be quirky & awkward but I have been that my whole life and before it became cool; I had to deal with the internal trauma awkwardness afforded me. These are moments of embarrassment are what make your armpits turn into puddles and give the butterflies that live in the pit of your stomach the Bee Gees right before you give that speech. These humbling moments in life, I also like to refer to as gawkward moments; are the experiences that make us remember we are all but human; less than perfect beings on the pursuit of peace & happiness.
So what is gawkward & what does being gawkward have to with the fragility of being a human. Gawkwardness is a whole other level of awkwardness. It’s when your awkwardness goes beyond internal but becomes VERY MUCH external. It’s when you experience something embarrassing with witnesses in the room to remind you later of the joyous event. :o) The reason why it’s not full on embarrassment is because the witnesses just try to ignore the situation at hand instead of pointing out said problem thus making the scenario worse. This is why if I’m talking to someone with stinky breath I try to offer them a mint in a polite but subtle way as not to embarrass them in front of others. Instead of saying “DANG YO BREATH IS FUNKY!”.
Years ago while I was very much still in high school capri pants or as some people call them pedal pushers, or short pants had made a huge come back and I owned a few pair. This day I was traveling home from a long day at school and I had to take public transportation home. It wasn’t until I was standing at my second bus stop in the front a rather large park n’ ride crowd heading home when I overheard a couple standing next to me debating on who should tell this woman about a stain on her rear end. As my ears perked up & honed in on their conversation, it seemed as though the couple’s speech became louder as I heard the woman say “Why don’t you just tell her!” with the guy responding ” NAH, cause I don’t want her thinking I was looking at a butt like that. Why don’t YOU tell her!” then the woman says, “Uh, uh, that is NOT my problem!.” And immediately I got this sinking feeling they were taking about little old me.
Just as the woman finished her statement the bus rolled up & I hopped on as soon as I could wrapping my denim jacket around my waist before I sat down. Too afraid to check while there on the bus, I quietly sat across from the same couple for 20 mins praying they weren’t referring to me. I mean there is no way they could have been talking about me and still be sitting right across from me and not utter a single word of warning right? WRONG!!!
I waited until I got in the house to confirm if they were indeed talking about my infamous bum which indeed had a HUGE GREASY STAIN the size of an apple on it! Ugh!!! HOW GAWKWARD!! They could have least helped a sistah out by not letting me stand there in the middle of the rush hour crowd in purple pants with an advertisement of booty flavored Crisco!!! Now sold at your local Walmart. Yuk!!! I guess their way of letting me know was by talking about me while standing right next to me instead of to me. SMH.
So the moral of the story is we are all human and fall short of the glory of God but we should treat others the way we would want to be treated. That is by letting your Uncle Sal know when he has food stuck in his dentures, by letting that l lady you work with know her shirt is mis-buttoned and her bra is showing and for goodness stake letting a person know if they have Crisco Booty going on because who needs another gawkward life moment to add to the memory bank!
Until next time…